We’re taught since childhood that prejudice is a horrible thing. We’re told about its rampant past and the terrible path of destruction it has carved through history. That may make one think it’s over and done with. But, no, it’s still here. Maybe it’s a bit subtler and sophisticated, but it’s still here. And the most shocking form of it I discovered today. In my breakfast cereal.
What happens when you find something different floating in your milk? That’s right, you cast it away, shun it. And more often than not, that different something is a piece of cereal that is the wrong color. Cereal pieces should all be one color and a color other than normal is deemed not worthy of digestion.
And what color do I mean by different? Let’s face it, they’re the brown and black ones. The Rice Krispie that’s too dark from being cooked too long; the Cheerio that’s browner than the other Cheerios; the Corn Flake that’s just plain whacked out. We’re all guilty of this kind of prejudice, even though there’s nothing nutritionally wrong with the abnormal cereal.
But look past the abnormalities, look past what’s different and occasional, and see the everyday truth: people prefer white cereal. Rice Krispies, Kix, Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Special K: they’re all light-pigmented cereals. Your eating habits are promoting white cereal supremacy.
Not only are white cereals preferred, dark cereals are seen as unhealthy and disgusting. The #1 cereal hated by mothers concerned with their children’s nutrition: Cocoa Puffs, the flag bearer of dark cereals. Other honorable mentions include Count Chocula and Reese’s Puffs. Even though Cocoa Puffs has no more sugar than Lucky Charms, one is loved and the other hated.
Lucky Charms are white and Cocoa Puffs are dark, but the battle between these two boils down to their mascots. One is a charming and intelligent Leprechaun; the other is a schizophrenic dodo bird that keeps belligerently yelling at us about being insane for a food product. Lucky the Leprechaun tells us that Lucky Charms is steeped in tradition and sophistication while Sonny the dodo bird merely flaunts his neurological disorder. The prejudice is clear.
Take the example of Frosted Mini-Wheats. Normal shredded wheat falls under the category of health food, loved by parents and hated by kids. But suddenly, when the mini-wheat becomes frosted, the cereal is universally loved. Why? Because frosting is white. Kellogg’s has taken a light-skinned cereal and made it whiter. And all us prejudiced consumers appreciated the change.
Now I know what many of you are thinking. You’re thinking: “What about Raisin Bran?” I agree that Raisin Bran is a very popular cereal, and a dark one at that. You may be quick to admit a flaw to my thesis, but not so fast, Mr. Smarty-pants. We all know what the best part of Raisin Bran is. It’s the sugar on the raisins. And, you guessed it, sugar is white. Case closed (the law & order sound goes here).
And for the love of God, people: milk is white. Milk: the essence of cereal. The Eve to cereal’s Adam, the Ying to Yang, the trolley to Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. No one would dream of putting chocolate milk on their Captain Crunch. There’s no way around it; cereal is prejudiced.
Okay, so what’s the hidden meaning? Am I saying that prejudice is everywhere, even in the most mundane aspects of the day? Am I saying that looking for prejudice everywhere in life is ridiculous? Well, I don’t really know. Maybe deep down I am prejudiced and this is just an outlet for that. Or maybe I do find the world ridiculous. Or maybe in another life I was the Trix bunny. Who knows? It’s just comedy, not a social treatise. You’re supposed to laugh, and to laugh one has to think, which is more than outraged political backlashes can manage these days. Maybe I’m being insightful and progressive. But…no, I was probably the Trix bunny in a past life.
So next time you’re looking at your breakfast cereal selection and thinking about what you’re going to eat, why don’t you pick up that cheap ceramic bowl and look at your reflection? It may turn out your motives are as spotty as the Froot Loop I found this morning.
